Cher Zu,
Je ne pensais jamais que je pourrais être soo fascinés par votre beauté. Est-ce que je suis tombé amoureux de vous Zuraya, est-ce que vous ne pouvez pas voir? J’ai sacrifié beaucoup pour vous. Comment est-ce que vous pourriez faire ceci à moi?
Well, not to be …it seems. Once again, the one and most honourable hopeless romantics has done it. Screwing up when it really matters.
What am I to do, back to the drawing board i guess.
hmmmm….another birthday. I must be the only fart in the world who hates birthdays..apart from Garfield of course! I just cant explain why. Maybe because the fact that i’ll be soon reaching the big three O….alone! ’sigh’ now that’s scary! Anyways, as always….i dont think that the almighty ain’t gonna grant me my wish (again) to conquer the human race. It’s been my longtime dream since ages! If only…I could just imagine….Fikri the Conquerer or maybe Fikri the Ruthless or ..or … Fikri the Big Casanova! Probably its time for me to wish for something else for a change. I just hope that as I get older, my luck will change for the better. It s bad enough that my career is in a standstill, got no friends, got no girl, got no life…ahhh…what’s a man to do? Recently, i got my only reason to quit my job and move to Bandung but…..but….theres always a shithead motherfucka standing in my way! My dream job….all up in smoke! all I have now are plans and hopefully that dream of being Malaysia’s first Trillianaire Technopronure will soon be a reality.
Met my uncle and auntie last week…..just paying them a courtesy call….haven’t talk much to them since started working. It was quite a scene seeing both my mother and auntie with their baldy heads due to their chemotherapy.
As usual, when it comes to my uncle….my career always take centre stage of our conversation and again he was at his oppressive best….but this time he really knock some sense into me.
He was quite pissed when he found out that I’d applied for other jobs without telling him….he wanted to help……he got contacts…..but i refused. I told him that I wanted to do things on my own…the ethical way….the right way.
‘The right way huh’, he said……’ I loud your values but people like you Fikri are like Dinosaurs ….extinct!!!’…….he’s right…for god’s sake he’s right….nobody believes in ethics anymore.
‘You’re good Fikri, damn good….don’t let your kampung mentality hold you back’ …..If only things are that easy…..in order for me to chase my dreams…my values need to be sacrificed….is this really the way?
Well kiddies, this is a basic lesson for all of ya who is tired of that same old fart hangin around with ya. All you need is to practice this 10 steps.
lesson1:
Give her a tight slap. If this doesn’t work….well …we got a though one here!
lesson2:
sleep with her best friend……its good for your health and bad for your relationship…..
lesson3:
be a desperate and extra sensitive motherfucka’……she’ll get annoyed for sure.
lesson4:
dedicate "lady marmalade" to her mother.
lesson5:
sleep with the mother!
lesson6:
Nag, …turn things around for a change.
lesson7:
tell her that you love her…"sigh" . Comin from my personal experience..surprisingly ….this is extreamly effective!
lesson8:
tell her she look like a famous porn star. ( Note: Applies only to the conservative ones…make sure that your girl is not the horny type)
lesson9:
Ego……never control your ego…..let it be free….free as bird…
lesson10:
hmmmm….just watch that Kate Hudson movie …..good lessons there.
